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By Leigh for Earshot
Updated September 04, 2017 16:45:46
I'm a gambling addict. Three years ago, I was convicted of white collar fraud, after I stole over $130,000 from my employer to fuel an insatiable addiction.
My poison of choice was not poker machines, but online gambling.
Racing, the thoroughbreds, the trots, the dogs — I wasn't fussy, so long as I could get a bet on and fuel that addiction.
The bets would range anywhere between $5,000 and $20,000 a day. I would bet until 3:00am, try to sleep for three hours and bet again for another three hours on online racing in the United States.
I always thought the stereotypical gambling addict was a working-class middle-aged man or woman, sitting at their local club, feeding their favourite pokies machine four or five nights a week.
But I rarely ventured into the local TAB.
Betting while the kids were in the bath
At the zenith of my addiction, I was married with two beautiful young children and working as a finance manager at a local council.
When I was with my family, I was physically there — but mentally, I was miles away, thinking about gambling: when I could next bet, where would the money come from, whether I could back a winner.
I thought about gambling 24/7. I placed bets at home, at work, the shops — basically everywhere and anywhere I could get reception on my phone.
I would be walking with the kids and our dog, yet I'd still be trying to place bets. I would even bet and watch the races on the phone while the kids were in the bath.
A knock at the door
I had been thinking about stealing to solve some of my debt problems for months, but I couldn't do it because I knew the consequences would be dire.
Then one evening, I had a visit from two large men with a baseball bat, strongly suggesting it would be in my best interests to repay a sizable debt that was due that week.
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They punched me and threatened to use the baseball bat 'next time'.
I was left bruised and battered from their warning. It was a seriously scary moment; I still occasionally have flashbacks and it sends chills through my body.
That night, I made the decision to steal from work. I felt physically sick and fidgety; my mind wouldn't stop racing. I knew it was wrong, but I did it — knowing I could one day get caught.
The first time is without a doubt the hardest — but once you've done it, stealing becomes easier.
Listen to the program
Earshot meets Leigh, an online gambling addict.
I had nothing to lose. That's how I 'reasoned' it.
However, stealing became another problem to add to my list.
I was constantly worried about being caught. When someone knocked on my office door, when I got a phone call, when my boss called me to a meeting, I was never quite sure.
The fear was slowly killing me, but I couldn't confess, couldn't turn back. I was on a knife-edge with no solution, no way out.
It was a Monday morning when I was finally caught. I was called into the CEO's office and they presented me with the overwhelming evidence.
I was caught red-handed, but I still denied it. I knew my career was over and that jail was not far away.
But at that stage, I had a small sense of relief. No more looking over my back. The lying and deceitfulness could stop.
On the inside
When I was caught and sentenced to jail, the gambling addicts I met in the prison system had similar stories to mine. They were middle-aged, smart, well-educated men from good upbringings, all addicts to racing and not the pokies — certainly not the stereotypical gambling addicts I had imagined.
My addiction cost me everything. I lost my job, all my material possessions including house, car, everything I owned.
But that pales into insignificance to the lost relationships.
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If gambling is affecting your health and you are feeling anxious or depressed, or if gambling is negatively impacting on your relationships, help and support are available.- Call Lifeline on 13 11 14
My marriage disintegrated, I lost access to my children, I don't talk to my family and I'm no longer on speaking terms with most of my friends. I don't blame them.
During my year in jail, I had enough time to reflect on all the damage it had caused and when I was to be released I knew I couldn't go back to that lifestyle.
You get far too much time to reflect in jail. I was constantly thinking about the kids, but I didn't decide to quit gambling because of them. The constant stress and 24/7 of thinking about gambling had destroyed me: physically, emotionally, and financially.
I knew if I didn't stop gambling it would kill me.
Get help before it's too late
I write this not because I find it a cathartic experience, but because I hope that it helps others to seek help before it's too late. Or for family and friends of addicts to intervene and offer support.
For people 'on the edge' or thinking about committing fraud, the solution is simple: get help.
Seek support before you hit rock bottom. The help that suited me the most was from my psychologist, one-on-one extended chats — but for others it may be Gamblers Anonymous.
For the family and friends of addicts: please don't give up on them, it's a horrendous disease and they need all the support you can give.
Life in 2017 is certainly not perfect, but it's a damn sight better than it has been.
I've got regular access to my children, I'm rebuilding lost relationships, I've found some temporary work — and I haven't had a bet since 2014.
Topics:gambling, internet-culture, family-and-children, fraud-and-corporate-crime, law-crime-and-justice, australia
First posted September 04, 2017 12:14:41
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Advice from private investigator James Loh:
Problem gambling refers to the behaviour of persons who are addicted to gambling. Like any addiction, symptoms can range from the mild to the severe. The most serious form of the gambling is called “Pathological” or “Compulsive” Gambling.
The establishment of the twin integrated resorts and casinos in Singapore has contributed to the cases of problem gambling locally. After all, casino games and casino environments are deliberately designed to induce players to gamble more. Occasionally, people look to private investigators like me to check up on the gambling activities of their family members so they can do something about it.
Identifying the gambling habit
The victims could be our loved ones. It is best to identify problem gambling early on so that something can be done. The following are some tell-tale signs of a gambling habit:
- Lying about the small things: People who have gambling problems generally try to hide such problems from the people around them. They may start lying to their spouses, families, co-workers and friends. They may also hide bills, past-due notices, winnings or losses from partners/family members
- Retirees leaving home for long hours at a stretch: Suspicion should be aroused when these trips are made to venues which host a casino/gambling facility – e.g. country clubs and the integrated resorts. However, the subject may also be unwilling to reveal the nature of their movements when asked. In that case, it may be unwise to press the issue as it could lead to arguments/conflict and cause the subject to become more guarded about his or her activities
- Financial troubles: Constantly not having enough cash for daily expenses and/or having increased debt and/or unpaid bills. This may happen because the gambler is spending more money on gambling than he can afford.
- Mood changes: The subject may become constantly distressed, frustrated and irritable and/or demonstrate less patience when dealing with normal, everyday activities with no overtly identifiable reason
- Borrowing money: Pathological gamblers inevitably find themselves in a financial hole and may resort to borrowing from family, friends, co-workers or even strangers, without always admitting the real reason behind their need for cash. They may also max out their credit cards, sell things for quick cash and/or take out a second mortgage
- Strained relationships and declining work performance/loss of job: Problem gambling causes harm to both the gambler and his or her family. It could lead to increased conflict with friends or family over money or the subject’s gambling habits and/or increasing isolation from family and friends
The above are guidelines to allow you to either confirm or deny your suspicions about whether a relative has a gambling problem. However, they are not meant to be conclusive nor exhaustive and should not be regarded in isolation.
How much gambling is too much?
Should the subject’s gambling habits be known, the following are tell-tale signs that an innocuous habit may be pathological:
- Chasing losses: This happens when gamblers attempt to win back the money they have lost. They may claim that they will quit gambling once they “strike it big” or blame the loss on (lack of) luck or wrong strategies used. However, when they chase their losses, they end up incurring more losses and often land themselves in severe debt
- Increase in betting amounts: Like someone who has drug or alcohol problems, problem gamblers have to up their “dose” of gambling to enjoy it. In other words, they have to bet more and more money to get the kind of rush they want
- Obsession over gambling: When a subject is constantly thinking or talking about gambling, it may be a sign of addiction. The subject may also start to neglect social life and family time in order to spend more money and time on gambling
Actions you can take
Confronting the subject head-on may cause the subject to become defensive and lead to unpleasant arguments. Instead, you can take the following measures, especially if you know that the subject has a weakness for gambling:
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- Find the identities of the subject’s gambling partners (if any): They may turn out to be part of an illegal syndicate. If so, it is advisable to report your findings to the relevant authorities.
- Employ a trained Private Investigator to conduct discreet physical surveillance: The PI will be able to conduct surveillance in casinos and provide you with accurate information about the subject’s movements and activities.
- Apply for a Casino Exclusion order (http://www.ncpg.org.sg/en/Pages/DealWithProblemGambling.aspx?category=2)
- Monitor the well-being of the subject: If the subject is facing financial troubles as a result of his/her gambling problem, he/she may become increasingly depressed and may resort to borrowing from illegal moneylenders or even contemplate suicide
- Seek professional help: Encourage the subject to go for counselling services and/or call the National Problem Gambling Helpline 1800-6-668-668 for help and advice
- Take control of finances: Where the problem is severe, guard savings accounts and make them inaccessible to the gambler and/or close all joint checking and savings accounts and create new accounts in your name only.
Wind creek casino wetumpka jobs. This article is written by James Loh, managing director of International Investigators Pte Ltd
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